Thursday 14 April 2016

Playing zombies, round 21. Me and my buddies are so pumped to beat the game, we got to round 30 and we won. Nothing happend we were waiting for something to happen. suddenly the tv was shaking and suddenly a zombie came out. The zombie bit my friend and the spot grew and grew. I woke up from my dream and I was so happy.
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3 comments:

  1. Donut The Duck14 April 2016 at 13:52

    I think your story i really good but you should get someone to check over you punctuation and grammer.

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  2. Unknown14 April 2016 at 13:54

    I think you need stronger words and clearify whats happening because it's a little confusing.

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  3. Unknown14 April 2016 at 19:36

    You should the word 'are' in the second sentence to 'were' and in the third sentence is a little confusing so you should fix it. Also, I think you should add stronger words and make sure to go over punctuation and grammar. On the line where it says the prompt make sure to switch the word' and' to 'but' because that is was the prompt says. Your story only has 65 words but the minimum is 75 so maybe you could add more words by looking for stronger words and maybe explain what the spot was I think your story is really creative, good story.

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